“Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.” – Wayne Dyer
Although this is a personal finance focused site, relationships do play a part in your financial success. The partner that you end up with can either assist you in your pursuits or drag you down. When you find someone who can assist you, sometimes you have to go through battles in order to keep that relationship in tact – especially when you are in an interracial relationship.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly four years now. Our relationship isn’t like any other that I can think of amongst our peers. I also have a few friends in interracial relationships themselves. Here are a few things that many other interracial couples can relate to where those in non-interracial relationships may not.
1. You may become easily irritated and self conscious in the beginning
Being in an interracial relationship, you may have to hide your relationship from your parents or your S/O’s parents. That alone is stressful for both members in the relationship. Secrecy is only fun for so long before you feel like you are in some sort of prison where you can only come out to eat for an hour before you are thrown back into your hole for the remaining twenty-three hours. Seeing other relationships plastered all over social media may have you feeling sad about the limitations of your own but the relationships that last the longest are the ones that aren’t all over social media. Who decided anyways that a relationship is only legitimate if the world sees it? Interracial or not, social media is not always your friend. Don’t let the sudden limitation shock run you off the block.
2. Your S/O’s family may not accept your race
Being a black male, I surprisingly never had an experience of racism until I got into my relationship. Your S/O’s parents and family may not be too welcoming knowing that their daughter is dating someone who doesn’t look like them.
This is unfortunately normal.
You can be the brightest and most successful individual but your complexion may still be of a higher-weighted determinant of them liking you than anything else. Many cultures and families will not accept other races “blending” with theirs for various reasons. It may be from a traumatic experience, deep-rooted racism, or just plain lack of education and exposure from outside of their self-created box.
Do not let this deter you from being with the one you believe you love. Eventually they will either get over it or you’ll hit them with the ultimatum and get them removed from yours and your S/O’s life.
3. Your own family may be intimidated by you and yours & 2.1. They may try to impose their culture on your S/O
It’s one thing for your S/O’s family to dislike you but it’s another thing to see your own family start to shun you.
This ALSO is normal.
When you date a strong individual from another culture, your family (usually immediate) can feel threatened by another set of ideals and beliefs being catapulted into their lives. They may act at first as if they are welcoming, but once they realize that your S/O may actually become your partner for life, their insecurities may become to be pretty blatant – with no limits to how ugly it can be.
They may start to badger you about making your S/O convert to “their” religion, marriage, living conditions, what you CAN and CANNOT do if you aren’t married – in simple terms, a whole bunch of patriarchal, religious, and antiquated bullsh*t.
They may feel intimidated by the fact that this person may take away their son or daughter. Your parents may be used to your presence and aren’t prepared to see that cease.
4. You may question if it’s worth it
Seeing others who are in relationships but do not have the same problems that you do may make you question whether your S/O is worth it. Every relationship has its problems, but those of interracial couples top the list. In my opinion, fighting through the problems that an interracial couple have will only make you stronger together than that of non-interracial couples. The fact that the easiest thing to do is call it quits but you choose not to no matter what is something interracial couples deal with on a daily basis. Battling these things together is stressful but worth it in the end.
Nonetheless, don’t let this post make you feel as if interracial relationships aren’t capable of lasting! Join the Wealthy Family to get updated when the next post on the 4 (Of The Many) Great Things I’ve Learned While Being In An Interracial Relationship is published.
Until next time,
Live Long and Prosperous.
J.M.
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