“I remember when I first started in the business, I lost a lot of friends. Some were jealous, some were annoyed at the fact that I was an actress.” – Amber Tamblyn
Have you ever felt bad about being very ambitious? If not, you either have a good circle around you, or you’ve just not thought big enough! *mild chuckle*
I have already spoke about being the black sheep, but this is a little more specific about why you should not feel guilty about the successes or the preparations of success that you have. The more ambitious you become, the more family and friends may tend to watch you like the newest Netflix special.
At first, they may seem interested in what you are doing and how you did it, but very quickly you learn that their comments are mostly filled with jealousy and sarcasm. Many friends and family will feel intimidated by you – that’s just a given.
The other side is where because you are successful, you feel as if you must give away some of your money any time someone asks for it. This is a problem. This is called survivor’s remorse – in this case it is the fact that you ‘made it’ while those around you did not. You are NOT the guardian angel for everyone around you just because you have more zeros in your account. You can although choose who you help occasionally.
What you do not want to become is a human ATM. This happens all the time. Your friend needs some money to pay for his or her bills that she missed, another friend needs an Uber ride home because their bank accounts and other economic means of transportation just somehow vanished. *major sarcasm* The reasons will shock you. What will shock you even more is the fact that they have the audacity to reach out and ask for things they should be able to maintain themselves as adults. Don’t fall for these traps.
BTW, everything will get critiqued that you do – that is probably the worst thing in my opinion. EVERYTHING you do will be seen in a negative light. You give someone a nice gift, you are ultimately showing off. You compliment someone, you must be expecting a compliment back or you feel that important that you can compliment someone. You pay your tables bill, you must think you’re better than everyone else. You see where I’m going with this? It is infuriating. Maybe you’re just being a good person? Oh no, that couldn’t be the reasoning…
Anyhow, It is up to you to create boundaries in terms of how people speak to you or come to you about certain problems. You did not just become everyone’s ‘daddy’ because you struck gold. Be empathetic but don’t give all that you have only to go dry yourself. Because those people will not be there to give back to you. They already used the money you gave them to buy lottery tickets or a spa day that they covered up with the excuse of “missed phone bill”.
Do not feel so guilty for your successes that you become a victim to it. Do not let your blessing become your curse.
Until next time,
Live Long and Prosperous.
J.M.
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